Song No.1

My Silent Void

Many years ago I woke up one morning and immediately felt: “Something is different. Something’s wrong with me.” Weeks of uncertainty followed. I had no idea what was happening to me. Life was slipping away from me. What was bothering me the most? This insensitive emptiness inside me. Finally, a medical diagnosis… In my first song I tell you about my experiences with the disease “depression”.

Therapy

But at the time, I had no idea what depression really was. It was very difficult for me and those close to me to deal with it. With medical support I came out of the first big hole. But before I could leave the depression behind me completely, many years of ups and downs were to pass…

Positive experience?

Today I can look back and speak openly and honestly about my experiences. Because I am doing well. Very well indeed. And because I have taken a lot with me from this difficult time. Because without these experiences I would not be the life-affirming and positive person that I am today. So when someone asks me whether I would have liked to have given up my illness, I can only say: Yes and no. But I wouldn’t wish it on anyone…

Why a song about depression?

For one thing, the creative process back then simply helped me deal with the situation.. When everything seems meaningless and empty to you, it helps a lot if you find something that at least fulfills you a little and makes sense.

On the other hand, like most of those affected, it was very difficult for me to make it clear to my fellow human beings how I am, what it looks like inside of me and how it feels to be (clinical) depressed. Through the combination of lyrics and music, I finally had the feeling that I was able to convey this state better.

My silent Void – satellite view – Woman big

My silent Void – satellite view – Knife big

Why go public?

Although the topic has found its way more and more into the public through affected celebrities (like e.g. Robin Williams, Chester Bennington), sick people still have to fight unjustly with stigmatisation and prejudices. We all know about common diseases such as heart attacks, strokes, etc. But about the most common mental illness people still like to keep silent.

With my music, I would therefore like to make a contribution to bringing the subject more to the public and the awareness of people. More information and prevention would be helpful for everyone involved and would be an important step towards more mental health.

I also want to encourage and motivate those affected. Even if your own situation often seems hopeless: there are many ways and means that are worth trying. I speak from personal experience…

Lyrics

Stony asphalt, dying sky – a cold frame.
And in between my silent void – everywhere the same.
In the sky a chain of lights – fleeing.
Upside down, where is the time while I just carry on.

Everyday, a shade of grey, coloured moments on my way.
And memory, stay with me, keep me watchful, fight the grey!
And hopeful dreams of freedom and light-heartedness.
And one day it will be all right.

A lifeless haze of senselessness – falling.
The place where you can hear my steps – interchangeable.
The stars above are beautiful – surprising.
A different world, a different truth – you don’t know how I feel.

A long time ago we were in the fields.
The sun above, bright, golden and clear.
Holding my hand you said I’d enjoy the beauty surrounding us
if I were here.

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